Maternity Leave Lessons

As I near the end of maternity leave, these are some things I have learned over the last few months: 

- Motherhood takes literal blood, sweat, and tears, and I have so much more respect for moms in general.

- Labor and delivery was the most athletic thing I have ever done. There is absolutely nothing wrong with pain meds, but if you want to give the unmedicated route a try, I highly recommend hiring a doula to help prepare and be with you through the whole thing (I can refer you to a great one!). It was like having a personal coach. 

- Accept and ask for help when you need it. When I had my son, I went from being fairly independent to being both super dependent and extremely needed. I depended on Jonathan for a lot, and Daniel literally needed me to keep him alive. Thankfully, we have had amazing support: meals, diapers, friends showing up to mow our lawn and take the trash, friends staying a little longer to hold the baby so I could shower, etc. I even called my mom to come over at 2:00 one morning because I had reached a point of exhaustion that was impeding my ability to think clearly, and it scared me. It takes a village. 

- With all new things, there is a learning curve, and motherhood is a steep one. A "mother's intuition" is a thing, but for the brand new mom, it can be intimidating. I didn't know what I was doing, and when asked, "Why is he crying?" I wanted to say, "Your guess is as good as mine," but I felt like I should know. Nope. It takes time to get to know your baby and understand their needs better. It's okay. 

- Being a parent, even a parent of a baby, takes discipline. Sleeping in his own bed, having a consistent bedtime, getting into an eat/wake/sleep cycle, and feeding every three hours during the day has been a game changer for Daniel and for us to understand his needs better. We have seen the value in it. 

- Don't give up! Tomorrow you'll thank yourself for things you persevered through today. One of those things for me was nursing. It's not for everyone, and quite frankly, "it wasn't for me" for at least the first three weeks, but I am glad I didn't quit. It's a lot easier now.

- Mom-to-mom encouragement is crucial. New mom? You need moms in your life to tell you when things are "normal" and when they aren't and to encourage you along the way.

- Time in God's Word looks different now. Gone (for now) are the days of lengthy study or reading chapters at a time. I do what I can do. Studying and meditating on 2-3 verses at a time throughout the day is the new normal. The length is not important, but what is important is that I am digesting the Truth often. 

- Productivity looks different now. One day, I was going and doing and working and the next I was feeding a baby. Talk about a change of pace. I am thankful for my husband who would speak into my frustration with, "Stephanie, you're sustaining our child's life. Don't underestimate that." There were days, especially at the beginning, that that was literally all I did.

- It practically takes an act of God to get out of the house on time and with all the necessities when there is a baby in the mix. Get out anyway. It's worth the effort...most times.  

- Having your baby smile back at you and laugh for the first time is the absolute BEST! There's nothing like it, and it makes all the work worth it. This must be how parents get suckered into having multiple. ;)

Mama must-haves for me (beyond diapers and wipes), especially during the first three weeks:

- Large water bottle with straw
- Baby Tracker app
- Sound machine 
- Disposable pee pads to put under baby, especially if you have a boy!
- Dreft stain remover...because poop
- Onesies with open bottom or two way zippers for those middle of the night diaper changes...or middle of the day, since, let's be real, it all feels the same for a while.
- Gripe Water. It works wonders.
- Windi. The best (and weirdest) way to give gas relief to your little one. Another reason for pee pads. See above.
- Haakaa for that extra liquid gold
- Lanolin (Do yourself a favor and skip the Walmart brand and get Medela)
- Heating pad
- Stool softener